While talking to people, its just so easy to to pretend and suggest being somebody that we are not. Everybody goes through that phase only difference is: bold will shout out loud and make their viewpoint clear and the one who cant will be quiet, hiding and suppressing their feelings and emotion.
I am loud people say cause that is what they see but m I? Often wonder, if anybody ever tried to know me without making any judgement on the basis of my clothing, culture, behavior and attitude. How i wish to know people by talking?, getting to know them better and yet i fail to judge them not because i am incapable but never felt a need of judging anyone before knowing them.
At a times, i say to myself, how good it will be to talk to somebody and empty this mind but i fail. Constant failure in sharing and confronting truth to anyone. Have i really done that bad deeds in life that can never be said or told to anyone? I don’t think so. Then why am i scared of talking to people? Why can’t i be just me and not to pretend to be somebody else?
Complicated! life!! more i try to understand, messier it gets. If only things could be as easy as we think it is. Emotions hurt even when we say it was never a cause and very easy to overcome but its not. Youth is like a curse where one knows everything and yet bound to do anything. Was much easier to be unaware of everything and just to dream like a fool when nothing was mine. Now i know the meaning of possession and the all bad things attached to it. Although I’ve none, something pulling back all the time. Tell me that we are changing with the time.. makes me laugh! Its our incomplete acceptance to new culture even when we say we know it all! and we understand everything, a white lie! we don’t really know anything. I wish if we could just understand our own self than pretending to be somebody!!!